Type and hit ENTER

Commonly used tags...

Brighton Festival Brighton Fringe Brighton Pride British Sea Power Cinecity Lewes Psychedelic Festival Locally Sourced Lost & Found Love Supreme Festival Nick Cave Poets Vs MCs Politics Rag'n'Bone Man Record Store Day Save Our Venues Six Of The Best Source Virgins Streets Of Brighton Street Source Tattoos The Great Escape Tru Thoughts Unsung Heroes
  • Home
  • News
  • Previews
  • Reviews
  • Features
  • Food
  • Tickets
  • Contact
  • Contribute
  • Advertise
  • Home
  • News
  • Previews
  • Reviews
  • Features
  • Food
  • Tickets
  • Contact
    • Contact
    • Contribute
    • Advertise
Features

Source Virgins: Men Only Saunas

Mar 19, 2009
-
Posted by Nick Coquet

THE REASONS
Gay men can meet with absolute anonymity and have mute sexual encounters in saunas, and there simply isn’t a heterosexual equivalent, unless you count Stan Collymore flashing his 4×4 headlights in some desolate car park. This expedition wasn’t to participate in gay sex, nor do I derive any prurient thrill from watching others at it. But the sexual politics of the set-up is really intriguing and by definition a closed world to any heterosexual SOURCE readers. And the sauna is just round the corner from SOURCE Towers, which was handy.

THE EXPERIENCE
I told the man on reception I’d never done this before and he explained the set up of the place. There were cabins upstairs and downstairs, some with doors for couples and orgy rooms. A steam room, dry sauna and small swimming pool completed the facilities. The café was being refurbished unfortunately and was not currently open. No post-coital crisps and coffee for me, then. He said it was a bit quiet today. I asked about how it all ‘worked’ in there, and his advice was just to wander about and if I was interested to just kind of “enter a circle”. I resisted the comedy gold retort. He also said that the accepted etiquette was ‘no means no’ but in the event of any trouble I should come and find him. How hilarious I felt now. I paid my £13, got a locker key and a fluffy white towel, which was to be my only preserve of modesty, and descended to the changing area. I can safely say I’d never felt so nervous in my life.

Two men were chatting by the lockers. Innocuous chat, about this and that. Cocks, bums and the like formed no part of the discussion. I was already finding it very difficult to place myself in the mindset of those for whom this was seemingly an everyday and unremarkable occurrence. I undressed and crammed my stuff into my locker, regretting buying my son’s hamster a big bale of wood chips at lunchtime. I arranged my towel around my waist and headed for the shower, as was only polite before entering.

All squeaky clean and nice to know, I wandered out to the pool. I’d never seen sun loungers in a dark basement before, but a similarly towelled foreign gentleman smiled up from one. God only knows what my self-conscious smile back must have looked like. Probably that I was a bit mental, a diagnosis it was becoming harder to disagree with as every moment passed. I carried on past the cabins, one of which was open to reveal a skinny young man reclined on his front on a shiny brown vinyl mattress. His buttocks were proffered, but I found I was able to resist their undoubted charms. I hope he got lucky, though.

The dry sauna was empty, but I saw someone go into the steam room. I waited a moment and followed him in. No means no, after all. No means no. As I found the wooden bench around its circumference I could no longer see him or anyone else. Ordinarily I quite like a steam room as it goes, so I sat down, tightening the towel around me. As my eyes grew accustomed to the dank, steamy light it became clear I was far from alone. A cluster of gentlemen were congregated in a corner, all wanking and sucking each other’s cocks. A couple of others were sitting on their own, just passing the time watching.

I started to feel very uncomfortable. Not threatened, not vulnerable, but a fraud. No one had made any actual approach to me, but then I’d only been there for about a quarter of an hour – I’m actually quite a good looking guy, you know. But the obvious fact that I didn’t belong there made me feel very guilty, potentially prick-teasey, and possibly rather patronising. I left the room in a steam-induced sweat, dressed quickly and uncomfortably, and went to pick my kids up from their mother’s. As I left, my final smile was returned to the pool boy, who was wandering about the place dabbing the floors with a grubby mop.

WAS IT WORTH IT?
Any discomfort I felt was at my own dishonesty – my journalistic and anthropological intentions had been at the possible expense and offence of others, as I watched agog like a kid in a zoo. But if anything, it made me slightly envious. If gay people can approach sex with such a casual and hassle-free approach, then good luck to them. To be able to pretty much guarantee sexual success without uttering a word would be many a tongue-tied heterosexual’s dream.

SAUNA FACTS
– Gay men have been using bathhouses for sex since the 15th Century.
– The UK has a thriving men only sauna scene with sites in most cities.
– The establishments operate legally by charging for use of their facilities rather than any promise of sexual activity.

Source Virgins
Mar 19, 2009
Email
Nick Coquet
Nick Coquet is the Deputy Editor of SOURCE. He also presents Wednesday's Breakfast In Brighton on Reverb 97.2fm and The Florist's fortnightly music quiz, designs websites and stands about in the nude for life drawing classes. He's shaken hands with Meat Loaf and bumped into Keith Richards, just so he could say he's touched him.
← PREVIOUS POST
Club Review: Summer of Love
NEXT POST →
Restlesslist Interview
Mailing List

Recent Posts
  • Two Decades Of Funk Fire With Jalapeno Records
    Jan 18, 2021

    A new compilation celebrates 20 years of funk and soul from world-renowned Brighton label Jalapeno Records.

  • Hansel and Gretel? | Brighton Source
    Hansel and Gretel? Review
    Dec 18, 2020

    A postmodern pantomime with an unrelaible narrator. Outdoors with comedy, dance, camp actors, plenty of fun. On two levels: laughs for kids and jokes for adults

  • Artists Open Houses 2020
    Dec 5, 2020

    After cancelling the May edition, Artists Open Houses tell us what it's like to be back with a December festival that is open to visitors in person for eight days.

  • Cinecity 2020 previewed by Brighton Source
    Cinecity 2020
    Nov 17, 2020

    From the North Laine to Mongolia, Cinecity's lineup is typically eclectic and original this year - catch it before the city's key film festival ends.

  • Macbeth Review
    Nov 2, 2020

    Macbeth in Brighton. One-act play with Scottish Gaelic sounds by This Is My Theatre. Power, ambition, murder, blood. The woods are moving.

  • Lost & Found: Poison Girls
    Nov 2, 2020

    As part of our retrospective series on local bands we look back at the hugely influential and ever-challenging anarcho-punk collective Poison Girls.

  • The Rose Hill | Brighton Source
    Save Our Venues – The Rose Hill
    Oct 26, 2020

    We spoke to the team at the Rose Hill to find out how a series of new creative projects is helping this unique Brighton venue to cope with the current crisis.

  • Spillage! Review
    Oct 19, 2020

    This one-person, one-act play is giddy, funny and seriously entertaining. An odyssey through the madness of corporate pressure on our mental health.

Website developed in Brighton by Infobo
Copyright © Brighton Source 2009-2020
Source Virgins: Men Only Saunas - Brighton Source