FILM: THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE
Duke Of York’s Fri 3rd
Possibly the most anticipated horror movie of recent times – well, certainly among the gross-out stoners in Cannibal Corpse t-shirts for whom Saw was laughably tame – this has earned its pre-release notoriety via split-second trailer money shots and incredulous word of mouth. Basically, a crazy scientist kidnaps a bunch of hapless victims and conjoins them, mouth to anus, creating a zany centipede with a single, collaborative digestive system. Rather like a rollercoaster, you’d really want to bagsy that front position, but as it turns out no one’s really that happy with the situation which ends, predictably, in a variety of death-type scenarios. (NC)

COMEDY: ANDY THOMAS
Upstairs at Three and Ten Sat 4th
Watching teachers swan off to Ibiza or sit around on the beach supping Scrumpy Jack for two months is enough to inspire playground bullying tactics in anyone, but Andy Thomas wants to set the record straight. A Fringe award winner earlier this year, his eccentric humanities professor’s dalliance with bygone Carry On stars merges wistful yearning with blazing profanity in a journey to the brink of sanity. Passionate and surreal, it’s also another odd and energetic triumph for local gang Smarty Pants. (BM)

ART: LOOKING SOUND
Brighton Media Gallery Sat 4th – Sun 5th From Billy Childish to Ladyhawke, making art during gigs might sound a bit 2006. The collective behind Looking Sound took it a step further earlier this year, creating six canvasses made by artists as they listened to VJs messing around with dubstep, breaks and drum’n’bass during the Fringe in May. The results will be on display here, although it’s not totally clear what else we can expect during two full days of music, experimentation and “sensory overload”. (BM)

EVENT: STRAY SIGNALS
Coachwerks Tues 7th
Stray Signals have established a neat reputation for themselves this year, thanks not least to an outbreak of music and performances galvanising the city’s serenely hidden St Nicholas Rest Garden, collage poetry experiments and a series of semi-organised gatherings based around themes such as the power of memory and the redemptive beauty of a row. The focus is on fostering a good atmosphere and a bit of a laugh, featuring storytelling, spoken word, performance, films, music and food. (BM)

FILM: SCOTT PILGRIM VS THE WORLD
Duke of York’s until Weds 8th
Firmly targeting entire swathes of yoof culture – the slackers, the indie nerds and the comic book devotees, to name three – Spaced creator Edgar Wright’s preposterous breeze of a new big screener pits a skinny Arctic Monkeys extra against the seven ex-boyfriends he must defeat to win his out-of-league object of desire. Highbrow critics will aspire to loathe it, tabloids will probably love it for its accessibility, and ultimately it looks too outlandishly overblown and easy on the eye to ignore. (BM)

ART: BREATH OF LIFE
Ink-d from Fri 10th
As well as having an amazing name, Storm Thorgerson holds the pint-guaranteeing honour of being the visionary behind Pink Floyd’s album cover for Dark Side of the Moon. For Teardrop, his contribution to this series of big name screenprints in aid of the British Heart Foundation, he’s re-interpreted it into a more fragile, cosmic rendering of a human heart. A gorgeous pop art entry by Sir Peter Blake and further designs by the likes of Maggi Hambling and John Hoyland also star. (BM)

THEATRE: THE MILL
Dome Sat 11th – Sun 12th
This vision of nubile ass-shakers moving a mill in tandem has the sort of moving and comical metaphorical narrative, should you look for it, that physical theatre urchins Ockham’s Razor flaunt as their protruding theatrical backbone. The discipline they possess in achieving that, rather than simply relentlessly cashing in on the ability of this gaggle of puppeteers, mimes, circus shape throwers and athletic rakes to bend and contort themselves around their human hamster wheel, makes for a spectacular of kitchen-sink throwing dedication. (BM)

COMEDY: TEAKSHOW
Upstairs at Three and Ten Fri 17th
A collaboration between actors Johnny Hansler and Jackie Stirling, Teakshow are gradually finessing their camp, vaudeville take on the sketch duo dynamic into an hour comprising more than the bombastic absurdity they hang their burlesque hats on. Using writers drawn from a diverse spread of niches, their best work combines risqué twists on tedious everyday niceties with cabaret-style charm and manically-paced character switches. You’ll end up either admiring the slickness with which it’s all done or sniggering at the innate ridiculousness they specialise in. (BM)

ART: BRIGHTON ART FAIR
Corn Exchange Fri 17th – Sun 19th
As much as we’d all have a wheezier time at the annual Art Fair were our pockets padded with gold forged from effortlessly lucrative careers, the show aims for a local slant, with provision for the poxy peasants to get their hands on something if they’re determined. Failing that, it’s a convenient chance to tiptoe around some excellent stalls and then spend an hour in The Mash Tun visualising the earthly riches you’ll undoubtedly have accrued this time next year. (BM)

WORDS BY NICK COQUET, BEN MILLER