So, this guy, Jeremy Wordsworth, keeps sending us dinosaur-based erotica featuring famous people. He claims this is an extract from his forthcoming 400 page novel.
Do you wanna see more – he’s sent us loads of it. It’s very detailed and he’s put loads of effort into it. Let us know on Facebook, Twitter or by liking it below. If you like it but wish it had more Britpop national treasures in it, then click here for a story featuring Jarvis Cocker. (Not suitable for kids, but won’t get you sacked from work, we wouldn’t think.)

An extract from “A Moment of Madness”

Michael Gove stops, turns the tyrannosaur’s face toward him, and looks him in the eye. “If that’s what you want,” he mutters.
“I’d like nothing better,” the tyrannosaur assures him quickly,. “Fuck’s sake, Michael, I’ve not had a chance like this, with you, for how many -”

Michael Gove cuts him short, pushing away the unbidden pain. “Oh, just stop it.” His arms tighten around his lover’s body, and he fears that he may not stop himself in time from becoming a sentimental wreck, but the lingering lust saves him. “Did you bring what it takes?” he asks, watching in quiet amusement as the tyrannosaur sits up with sudden eagerness to get the condoms and lube, heretofore concealed, from the nightstand drawer. The shameless, filthy, adorable slut.

“Roll over,” he commands, and is rewarded not only with the tyrannosaur’s obedience, but also with noticing his flushed face, the heightened colour obvious even in the very dim light, its only source a street lamp outside. “And spread your cheeks for me,” he adds, thinking with wicked satisfaction of what kind of blush that must have provoked, even though he cannot see it with the tyrannosaur’s face against the pillow. He pours enough of the sticky substance onto his fingers and reaches over to slowly spread it on his lover’s body, the tiniest, slowest movement of his fingers punctuated by the tyrannosaur’s lustful moans. He takes his time, teasing his lover to shameless desperation, reaching over with his other hand to pump him from below, his cheek resting on the tyrannosaur’s shoulder blade and his lips pressed against the smooth skin.

“Ready?” he asks when the moaning gets particularly insistent.
“Hell yes, I’ve been ready for…”
“Shut up,” he snaps, hoping that the tyrannosaur was not about to say “twenty years” and ruin it all. “Just shut up.”

He keeps his hand on the tyrannosaur’s cock as he kneels behind him, carefully timing each movement to slowly press in when he stays his hand and the tyrannosaur’s body reflexively relaxes. In his blackest, most furious fantasies after they broke up – after the tyrannosaur broke up with him, his memory offers helpfully, but he kicks it away, – he wished, once or twice, that he could have his former lover at his mercy to take and use and abuse him as he pleased, to inflict bodily suffering and humiliation in return for the mental – and yes, emotional – anguish he had been left in.

But now that the tyrannosaur is completely at his mercy, giving in to him, letting him inside, all he can feel is an overpowering surge of gentleness mixed in with the white-hot lust. It is infinitely more enjoyable to cause and witness this sort of surrender, willing and eager and loving and oh so pleasurable… to them both, if the tyrannosaur’s bucking hips and incoherent little cries are anything to go by.

Gove might consider teasing his lover, but no longer trusts himself to speak for fear of uttering moans to rival the tyrannosaur’s; he shuts his eyes tight and lets his chest brush against the tyrannosaur’s back and kisses the back of the dinosaur’s neck, the movements of his hand on the tyrannosaur’s cock becoming more frantic until the tyrannosaur screams out – there is no other way of describing it – and goes almost completely still, and Gove kisses his neck again and gently pulls away but the tyrannosaur begs him not to.
“Please… I want you to… come inside me,” he entreats, and Michael is only too happy to oblige, thrusting until his mind goes blank. He no longer cares what he himself sounds like at that moment.