Every month we poke our noses into a potential des res, pointing out outlets and areas of interest while simultaneously sneaking in prejudiced and opinionated diatribes against the city’s lowlifes and bastards. This month it’s Middle Street’s dubious moment in the sun.

Middle Street? Are you joking? Have you not seen Brighton Beach Patrol?
Ha! Yes, we have. It’s like Baghdad-On-Sea when those clubs kick out. But while Middle Street is certainly within punching distance of West Street, the pubs and clubs up there deliberately turn the more ghastly groups of marauding morons away. So while it’s certainly lively you don’t really get bellowing gangs of sunburnt lads running about with vomit-soaked Crystal Palace shirts wrapped round their heads.

I hadn’t actually noticed anywhere to actually live down there?
There are some lovely ancient cottage-type places dotted around, and a fair number of first-floor flats above the various establishments.

So what nightlife are we talking about?
Well, if you’re looking to get outside a few cold drinks, you’re well served. We love the Victory up the top of the street, then down towards the sea there’s Jam, The Hop Poles, the Jazz Place, The Globe, The Coach House. This is all on Middle Street itself; in the immediate surrounding roads there are obviously around a thousand other pubs and bars.

All good. How about eats?
Again, this is a particularly well served area, but Middle Street boasts the Mongolian BBQ and the famous 24-hour café Buddies at the sea end – this is aces but it’s more pleasant during the day than at 3am for obvious pissed-up, chips-stuck-up-noses stag party reasons.

OK, so it’s an eating and drinking street. Anything else?
Yep – there’s Choccy Woccy Doo Dah, which is like a kind of luxury crack den for chocoholics. Oh, that’s more eating isn’t it? OK, there’s the Brighton Media Centre then, with loads of office space for designers and other funny-haired creative types. There are a couple of B&Bs and hostels for backpackers and visiting revellers, which may result in some late night street shouting and doorway pissing, but only quite low levels of this.

So, we’re recommending Middle Street then?
It depends what kind of place you want to live in. I guess you’d have to really want to live in the thick of Brighton nightlife, but if you do there’s probably nowhere better.

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